Even if you don’t know who DJ Khaled is, you probably heard some of his, ahem, “output.Auto-tuned, yet monotonous, bragging. Generic hip-hop shouting, snares like diarrhoea, and guest stars all over the shop.  He’s doing well out of it. An interview of absolutely powder-puff questions in the NYT (“Tell me about how you manage to be so wonderful” and so on) reveals that Khaled is also a slightly paranoid philosopher. He has obtained the “keys” from “them”. The “keys” were previously withheld by members of the “they”.

The interview winds up when the interviewer cracks and points out that his “keys” of “don’t give up” and “don’t quit” are redundant, and Khaled discloses that he keeps quiet around Beyoncé. Probably the best policy, DK.

I’m motivated to write because Khaled states : “I’m basically the best producer ever.”


George Martin? Quincy Jones? Nile Rodgers? Rick Rubin? Dre?

In terms of hip hop alone, Khaled might have heard of Dilla? Timbaland? Neptune? There’s a nice list, for hip hop alone, here. Khaled isn’t on it.

NME has a list that covers all popular music – with Joe Meek at the top. Khaled? Perhaps they forgot.

Khaled obviously has a talent, and perhaps I’m making a mistake in discounting the possibility that he’s joking here. So, is he deluded? And if so does it matter? He polarises opinion, but his music is boring and formulaic. Some take his arrogance, whether it’s a joke or misfiring positivism, to be validated by his wealth and success. Sounds familiar? Trump casts a long shadow.

“Americans like Trump, because he’s got loads of money, and that’s sort of their version of clever” Barry Shitpeas

Both Trump and Khaled are products of capitalism, and commercial imperatives: greedy – not good. A lifetime of not getting the recognition they deserve. How sorely they must dream to be lauded, yet how often only the mirror will award them first place.


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